i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
