I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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