with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
