I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
