Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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