i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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