How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
