i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
either way he was missing a nipple.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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