Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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