he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
