i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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