She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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