a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
