One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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