im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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