Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
