he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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