come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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