Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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