He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
