Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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