so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
