Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
