i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
