it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
