I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
