Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
