Are we in a gay sports bar?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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