Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just gargled with NyQuil
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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