I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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