remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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