Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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