I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
