We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize