Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
