Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
