im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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