they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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