I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize