he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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