I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize