garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
