I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
