his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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