nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
