I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
