mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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