24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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