Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So vagazzling was a success
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
