I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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