I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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