Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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