Im at strip club and am horny
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My vagina just clenched in fear
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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