I'm really into asian looking animals
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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