I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
