You work out of a Hotel?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
