I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
