someone owes me an orgasm
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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