i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
