There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
