i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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