Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
