I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
