Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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