im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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