I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
