Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
