so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
