I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
