If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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