That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
