There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
