do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
