Soap is not a condiment
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
