Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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