i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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