If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
