I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
